Uniformity. . . . .

. . . . .overall sameness; without variations in detail; constant; unvarying; undeviating; identical or consistent, as from example to example, place to place, or moment to moment.

In simpler terms according to the CLG point of view, lacking individuality, creativity or unique qualities. BORING!

As most of you know, successful or not, I have always been a bit of a fashion plate. Through hair, clothes, shoes, accessories or makeup the complete look is part of what defines my attitude or personality for any given day. Even when I am completely alone I rarely get dressed without giving some thought to what I am putting on, how it looks & how it makes me feel. It can’t be explained. It’s just part of who I am. In today’s casual times, many would consider this superficial, but its part of my subconscious & what I do. When I was little, outside of playing dress up in my mother's or grandmother's clothes, one of my favorite toys was a thing called Fashion Plate. You could draw & color an outfit based on various plates that made up different parts of fashion pieces. Needless to say this game/toy shaped my way of thinking.

I am sharing this trivial & superficial explanation to illustrate the identity crisis I have experienced over the past 4 months. For the first time in my life I have been required to wear a uniform. Not only at school but many of the same rules apply to work. Here’s the lowdown on the uniform for school: (BTW, it is scrutinized & graded everyday in a military type lineup.)

Chef’s Jacket – unisex, oversized, cuffs rolled up, buttoned up to the collar, pressed and cleaned with plain white, sleeved t-shirt underneath. (CLG commentary: way too baggy & long, not to mention cut for a man, not a woman, afraid I might catch a sleeve on fire.)

Chef’s Pants – unisex, black & white checkered, very baggy, drawstring waist, bunchy in the crotch and very hot, tapered legs, way too long, must be hemmed, each pair was about 6 inches too long. (So ugly & although casual really not comfortable. Reminds me of the pants all the frat guys wore in the early ‘90s. What were those called, ‘Jams’???)

Socks – must be black or white, crew length & cotton. (Hate socks, so hot…esp. in summer….which leads me to the shoes.)

Shoes – School issued steal toe lace-ups, black leather, slip proof, oil resistant. Can get other shoes but they have to be black, leather, with a back (no Crocs) and slip-resistant. (Although they are comfortable, & being slip proof is more important than I ever realized, these are the ugliest shoes ever made. Been trying to find another pair for work that meet all of the criteria that aren’t so awful.

Cravat – A white kerchief tie that is rolled up & tied in a Windsor knot with the tails tucked into the knot. (Completely useless. I have no explanation for this one. There’s a story about tradition, but as an Aggie who is used to stories about crazy tradition, this one is not worth repeating.)

Hat – skull cap, like a surgeon (tight & itchy); if hair is longer than your collar it must be tucked into the hat or in a ponytail with a hairnet. (A little severe, especially when just sitting in a classroom & not working in a kitchen.)

Aprons & Towels – Aprons put on once you enter the kitchen with two towels tucked into the waste. As soon as you leave the kitchen the apron must be removed. (This is one I will never argue & makes complete sense.)

Fingernails – depending on the chef who is grading you; cut down to where no white portion exists or when holding your hand up palm facing you can not see any nails from the palm side. (Can’t argue – except the no white can be really, really short people who have a long nail bed.)

Others – no jewelry other than a plain wedding band, no makeup (yea, right.), no obvious piercings (can’t have the ring or post in), consistently groomed facial hair, nametag/lanyard tucked into chef’s jacket, sharpie & thermometer in sleeve pockets of jacket.

I understand that many of these rules have to do with proper hygiene in the food service industry and health code regulations, but when I come from a kitchen at work and can’t where the same shoes or pants in school & the hair regulations are more severe than a lunch lady in a school cafeteria, that’s where I start to have a problem. I also understand the need for uniformity, but this is not the military and we are not a bunch of misfits that need to be taught discipline. We aren’t even allowed to come inside to change into our uniform. Instead, we must be completely in uniform from the second we walk in the door. I have issues with this on a couple of different levels. The jacket & various uniform pieces are being exposed to many outside germs. (For many people, a lot more than their hands need to be washed before entering a kitchen.) Not to mention the awkwardness of people finishing dressing in the parking lot or completely changing clothes. Recently I had a male classmate ask me, as I got out of my car, if I was going to “Drop trou in the parking lot”. Granted the guy is a complete jerk, which I’ve recognized from the start, but that was completely inappropriate. (And it was obvious I was wearing the correct pants.)

My rant about uniforms is not about being a superficial fashion plate, but actually feeling personally challenged in a way I’ve never known. Self-presentation has been very awkward & I’ve had to rethink how people relate to me & how I communicate. Throughout this experience, I've had my doubts (about many things) & I know I have not been doing a good job of expressing myself. On many levels I've felt lost & overly reserved. It’s been an interesting learning experience which is far from over. As far as the uniform is concerned, I hate every minute, but as part of the journey, I am willing to play along. Just don’t ask me to send you a picture of me in full uniform. The only thing that makes it okay is that everyone else around me is dressed the same way. (How's that for superficial!)